Better than Revenge

by Aelfgyfu

Teal'c's suit felt odd. DanielJackson and MajorCarter had assured him that he looked good in it, but it seemed stiffer and less natural than the Jaffa armor he used to wear. Perhaps it was the newness of the suit, purchased specifically for this occasion. DanielJackson had told him that he would "break it in"—a phrase he also used for footwear. And DanielJackson had been correct about Tau'ri boots "breaking in."

Yet DanielJackson looked not entirely comfortable in his own suit and kept making minute adjustments to his own clothing. O'Neill told him to "stop fidgeting" and finally slapped his hand as they walked toward the Tollan council room. The team's youngest member was anxious. He had invested much time and effort in this presentation, and he kept voicing his concerns that the Tollans would simply dismiss his appeal for exchange.

Nonetheless, eagerness also betrayed itself in DanielJackson's steps. He had been thrilled when the Chancellor agreed to this meeting only four days before. Teal'c did not think the archaeologist had slept much since the SGC received the news.

MajorCarter was also eager, but she seemed more comfortable—with herself and with her clothing. She wore her dress uniform rarely, but she had told him before that she used to wear it regularly at the Pentagon.

And O'Neill projected nonchalance despite the dress uniform he preferred not to wear. Indeed, he projected it so strongly that Teal'c suspected he must be covering nervousness of his own. They all knew how jealously the Tollans guarded their knowledge—and how valuable that knowledge could be.

Teal'c did not understand Tau'ri clothing. It reminded him that he would always be an alien, no matter how long he stayed on Earth. He had been on Earth for almost three full years now, but it was not home.

On the other hand, O'Neill had always lived on Earth, and he had told Teal'c that he did not understand the reasons for such garb either. He allowed himself to be overheard, resulting in a joint lecture from DanielJackson and MajorCarter: the former explained dress customs through the ages, while the latter gave them dark looks and interspersed comments on demonstrating respect for one's allies. O'Neill had inserted a comment about allies engaging in exchange, but he was ignored by his teammates.

Teal'c allowed himself only the slightest hope that DanielJackson's efforts would secure some benefit for the Tau'ri. Certainly DanielJackson spoke well, and the Tollans he had helped escape remembered how he stood between them and Earth weapons, even when Maybourne ordered the men to fire. Some of those Tollans had influence now, particularly Omac, as they had learned during their last visit. Yet the memory of DanielJackson standing before the weapons necessarily evoked the memory of those weapons being raised against them. The Tollans had good reason to fear sharing their technology, having seen the damage it could wreak. At the same time, they were a proud people who underestimated the Tau'ri; like their other advanced allies, the Tollans assumed that the humans of the First World would be guilty of the worst mistakes they could imagine.

The walk to the council chambers was a short one through the bright morning sunshine of Tollana. The Tollans thought nothing of placing their seat of government within a staff weapon's reach of the Gate. Teal'c thought the placement ill-considered and noted that despite the events surrounding Triad, no guards were posted.

"Just another sign of Tollan overconfidence, Teal'c," O'Neill agreed.

"I don't know about that, Jack," DanielJackson responded. "I think keeping the Gate right in the center of things emphasizes a commitment to life beyond Tollana, much like the location of our own country's seat of government in Washington, D.C. emphasizes relations with Europe."

"Are you nuts? About the Tollans, I mean. Not so much Europe."

"Well, they did invite us here, and they're willing to hear our proposal for closer relations, Jack! They wouldn't do that unless they wanted better relations with us!" DanielJackson continued to talk about the unparalleled opportunity until they reached the council chambers and were waved in by a functionary. Again, there appeared to be no guard.

The team reached the council chambers and had hardly been seated before the Chancellor arrived. They rose immediately; the Chancellor's greeting was brief, a "Welcome back" to the team as a whole and a particular smile for DanielJackson. A small nod to Teal'c was probably meant to acknowledge Teal'c's role in preserving Tollana from Zipacna's surprise attack, and Teal'c nodded back.

Though Travell signalled them to sit, DanielJackson remained on his feet. The Tollans did not stand on ceremony like many other races, despite their pride, but DanielJackson often found it difficult to sit still at important moments. He wasted little time on formalities, asking at once to establish diplomatic relations; Travell was equally celeritous in granting them.

DanielJackson continued, "In that spirit we'd like to arrange for a trade."

"What would you like to trade?" asked Travell.

Teal'c could feel O'Neill tense slightly beside him as as DanielJackson answered, "Technology."

Travell apologized, and even managed to work some small note of regret into her voice, saying that their laws forbade it; DanielJackson parried that laws could be changed.

Teal'c was amazed at the speed of their conversation. He tried to imagine two Goa'uld being so blunt about their objectives. He failed. Two First Primes could meet for hours simply to set the conditions of their masters' meetings.

"I assume you want weapons technology," Travell asked with a cordiality that was clearly becoming strained.

"One of those ion cannons would be nice," O'Neill cut in over DanielJackson's answer.

DanielJackson glanced at O'Neill but made no move to step in as O'Neill pressed but was forced to admit that he could not guarantee that his superiors would only use the weapons against the Goa'uld.

As she rejected the request, Travell's voice held that little note of superiority that Teal'c knew irritated O'Neill deeply, especially from an "ally" who would not offer overt help of any kind.

"You know what?" O'Neill asked in what Teal'c had learned long ago was a rhetorical question. "Forget it."

What? Was this some new strategy of which Teal'c had not been apprised?

"Jack?" Clearly DanielJackson had not been apprised of it either.

"We knew you wouldn't give us anything. We're wasting a lot of time here."

O'Neill's words shocked Teal'c. They had discussed the possibility of failure—a probability, O'Neill deemed it—but they had only arrived. The time invested to this point had been DanielJackson's, and surely the linguist himself was best positioned to judge whether time was being wasted?

"Jack…."

"No, Daniel. Let's go."

O'Neill left the room abruptly. MajorCarter followed, with a look of shock on her face that she quickly concealed. DanielJackson and Teal'c fell into line behind them. This behavior made little sense. O'Neill would surely explain. Perhaps he had noticed something Teal'c had not. He frowned.

Teal'c looked around them systematically as they walked. He was surprised that Travell and her people made no move to come after them. Then again, the Tollans clearly felt they had little to gain from any exchange with the Tau'ri. But they had granted the audience for a reason, had they not?

"What are you doing?" Daniel asked, perhaps even more bewildered than Teal'c was.

"We never should have saved their technologically superior butts."

Teal'c had known O'Neill to say such things jokingly before, but his expression was serious, and his forceful tread conveyed controlled anger. Teal'c must have missed something that would make sense of this behavior.

Then, suddenly, O'Neill stopped. "It's that thing they disable our weapons with, isn't it?" he asked, pointing at a lighted portion of the outer wall.

"As well as the Goa'uld technology," Teal'c agreed.

"Don't even think about it," Daniel cautioned, anticipating O'Neill's actions while Teal'c watched in amazement.

O'Neill ignored his friend and easily removed a piece of the wall; Teal'c could feel MajorCarter stiffening. He considered adding his words to DanielJackson's, but what more could he say? If O'Neill did not listen to DanielJackson, he would surely not listen to Teal'c.

"Sir, isn't this against regulations?"

MajorCarter's pointed question did not stop O'Neill. Nor did anyone or anything else, to Teal'c's surprise. No alarms sounded as O'Neill pried the device out of the wall. No one ran to them; no one even seemed to be within sight. Could the Tollan be that overconfident? Even the Goa'uld, who had been defeated time after time due to pride and blindness to anyone else's abilities, would not have made a weapon so easy to steal. Did the Tollan not care that O'Neill was taking this device?

"I suppose it is, Carter. Let's go."

O'Neill knew something that the others did not. O'Neill had saved his team, even Earth itself, by doing things that Teal'c did not always understand at the time. MajorCarter threw a concerned look at Teal'c; he could not respond.

"Kind of crossing the line," Daniel added, not sharing Teal'c's conviction.

"Shut up, Daniel," O'Neill replied sharply, resuming his rapid pace towards the Stargate. MajorCarter had to run a few steps to catch up. He did not say another word to his teammates, who seemed speechless now, even DanielJackson, on the remainder of their short journey.

Teal'c hoped that the causes of O'Neill's actions would soon be revealed; he could see the strain on his other teammates already.

Teal'c had known O'Neill to make mistakes, of course, but most had occurred in the team's early days and involved matters difficult or impossible to foresee or split-second judgments. O'Neill could not have anticipated that Kawalsky had been compromised by a Goa'uld, or that the food Kynthia offered was drugged. He did not realize that DanielJackson had not been unchained when they attempted to escape from Pyrus's mine.

Many of O'Neill's surprises, even errors, worked for the best. Even his initial selection of team members had been, on the face of it, absurd. While keeping the child Merrin on Earth a little longer had imperiled relations with the Orbanians, in the end his actions brought new hope to children whose lives would otherwise have become a drudgery of mindless stagnation. His choice to trust Charlie and his Reetou mother saved Earth from the other Reetou.

Yet Teal'c had to admit he could not see how this decision could be rational or beneficial. The short-term gain from stealing one such device could surely not balance the tremendous damage the theft incurred!

*****

Technician Harriman seemed surprised at the return of SG-1, but Hammond betrayed nothing as he ordered them to the infirmary once they stepped down the ramp.

"Brought you something, General!" O'Neill cried cheerfully, waving the device he had stolen minutes before.

Teal'c saw MajorCarter and DanielJackson exchange a look. The major shook her head just slightly, and the archaeologist ducked his head while O'Neill handed the device to an airman and left the room.

Because the Tollans were allies and this had been on a diplomatic mission, the post-mission physical was a brief formality. DanielJackson attempted twice to engage O'Neill in conversation or, more likely, argument, but O'Neill would not respond, and DanielJackson terminated both attempts when people approached close enough to hear.

Why did O'Neill not explain himself for doing something that seemed so obviously wrong? Yet it would do little good to inquire before he was ready, especially when he so easily ignored his teammates' obvious discomfort.

Teal'c found himself wishing that they had been given a more thorough physical as he began to wonder: had O'Neill been compromised? He had seemed normal until his abrupt departure from Tollana, and he had even not seemed short-tempered to that point, as he occasionally did; why, then, would he tell his teammate to "shut up," particularly when that teammate had been placed in charge of the diplomatic mission? Why did he ignore the younger man even now?

O'Neill was released first and Teal'c third. By the time Teal'c entered the locker room, DanielJackson had finished changing into his BDUs but was waiting on a bench when Teal'c entered the locker room to put on his own everyday clothing.

"What the hell is wrong with Jack?" the younger man asked Teal'c as Teal'c began removing his suit.

Teal'c took off and hung each piece of clothing carefully; perhaps he would need this uniform soon again. "I do not understand O'Neill's actions," he conceded. "Did you speak with him—"

"No, he was gone when I got here." DanielJackson stared at the floor and shook his head. "Has he lost his mind? What can he possibly tell General Hammond? How could he put Sam in that position?"

The flow of questions did not really permit an answer, and his teammate did not really want answers to those questions anyway.

"Well," DanielJackson continued, as if he had asked no questions, "Hammond knows about the device, so we're going to have to explain how we got it. What do you think Jack will say?" This time he did look at Teal'c expectantly.

"I do not know."

DanielJackson frowned. He was obviously expecting more from Teal'c.

Teal'c obliged. "What will you say?"

That did not appear to be the response his companion sought. "I don't know," he said at last, standing as Teal'c began lacing up his boots.

"O'Neill must have some reason," Teal'c said finally.

"I hope you're right," DanielJackson replied.

Their walk to the briefing room was silent—not what O'Neill called "comfortable silence" when he shared it with Teal'c. Teal'c reminded himself again of the apparently irrational things that O'Neill did that turned out for the best.

They found the other half of the team already in the conference room. MajorCarter now held the device that O'Neill had taken; she turned it over in her hands, not speaking to her teammates.

"Sam," DanielJackson said with a nod, sitting opposite O'Neill instead of beside him as he normally did. He refused to acknowledge the team leader at all.

MajorCarter looked back at DanielJackson unhappily. From the tension in her body, Teal'c was certain that they had not yet told GeneralHammond what had transpired. Indeed, GeneralHammond was on the phone in his office.

Teal'c went to look out the window onto the Gate, trying to calm himself before the debriefing. He anxiously awaited O'Neill's explanation of his behavior.

His teammates continued not to speak, and when GeneralHammond emerged from the office, Teal'c took the empy seat next to O'Neill.

O'Neill told him the purpose of the device and added, "Worked on us. And the Goa'uld." Why was O'Neill so casual about this? And why did he bring in Teal'c's reminder of the device's effectiveness against their enemy, as if Teal'c were complicit in the theft?

The General was deceived by O'Neill's easy tone. "It should come in handy. Good job." His huge smile would have been a welcome sight at any other time, but Teal'c found he was waiting, as O'Neill liked to say, for the other shoe to drop. Teal'c did enjoy their metaphors, even though he liked to examine them, usually by querying one or more of his friends. Now, however, was not the time for such questions.

"Thank you, sir." O'Neill gave MajorCarter a look, but she refused to meet his eyes.

Teal'c was increasingly disturbed. Would not O'Neill reveal what he had done? And why he had done it? He felt confident, however, that O'Neill would not force MajorCarter to choose between following her commanding officer's lead and fully debriefing the head of the facility. Nor would he force DanielJackson to choose between GeneralHammond and his best friend.

"So, what did you have to promise them in return, Dr Jackson?"

"Actually, General, we didn't…uh…have to promise to give them anything."

DanielJackson must still be trying to decide exactly what to say. How did one tell what O'Neill had done without understanding it? Or perhaps he was so angry he did not trust himself to speak much. That was wise; sometimes he said hurtful things in anger and regretted them later.

Hammond was obviously perplexed. "They just gave you the device as a reward for saving them from the Goa'uld?" That was a reasonable guess, certainly. It was a shame his hypothesis was incorrect.

Teal'c again waited for O'Neill to, in his expression, "'fess up." As the moments passed, he began to wonder if he should speak up himself. Perhaps the best approach was simply to say that O'Neill had taken the device. He found himself unwilling to meet the eyes of any of his teammates; the hurt in MajorCarter and DanielJackson's eyes was even more painful than the hope in GeneralHammond's.

Part of Teal'c, however, thought that speaking up would be too easy on O'Neill, who seemed to be waiting for someone else to talk. O'Neill himself should be forced to speak. It seemed increasingly that he had no good reason for what he had done. How could that be?

Finally, DanielJackson said, "Actually, General, the Tollan refused to give us any technology."

"Offered us a nice fruit basket, though."

Even now O'Neill did not confess! Teal'c knew that he often dealt with difficult situations by joking, but this had gone too far. Teal'c felt genuine anger kindling with in him. O'Neill was not diffusing an awkward moment for others, but making light of a serious situation that he had created.

The general asked MajorCarter to explain, but she could only stammer, and Teal'c was on the verge of speaking when O'Neill finally made an honorable move.

"I took it, sir," he said.

DanielJackson sat unnaturally still, and MajorCarter seemed frozen in place.

"You stole it?" GeneralHammond had finally grasped the heart of the matter.

"I like to think of it as borrowed, sir. Major Carter can figure out how to reproduce it, and we'll give it back." Even now O'Neill seemed not to realize his danger—or not to care. "They won't retaliate, if that's what you're worried about. Not their way, right, Daniel?"

DanielJackson sat in silence and, if anything, increased the intensity of his glare at O'Neill's attempt to co-opt DanielJackson to his side. He made it sound as though the archaeologist had been part of the theft! Now it was Teal'c who did not trust his own voice.

"This command has already been accused of stealing from several other alien cultures, Colonel. Until now, we've denied it. Perhaps that was a bit premature. Dare I ask how many other items you've stolen?"

"None. This is the first." The statement was flat, factual.

"Colonel, you don't seem to understand how serious this matter is. You and your team have committed a court-martiable offence."

"To be fair, General, I did it. Carter and Daniel protested." Finally, O'Neill acknowledged the seriousness of his actions. "And Teal'c…well he really didn't say anything but I could tell he was opposed to my actions by the way he cocked his head and sort of raised his eyebrow…" Or perhaps he did not acknowledge the seriousness.

"Enough, Colonel." GeneralHammond turned his gaze away from the Colonel and towards the others. "Dr. Jackson, Major Carter, and Teal'c. You will return this device immediately to the Tollan and hopefully smooth over what must be some very ruffled feathers."

MajorCarter seemed relieved—whether at not being implicated or at having something to do, Teal'c was uncertain.

Yet even then O'Neill continued to argue. Why did O'Neill not simply acknowledge he was wrong? Teal'c still did not understand the American military well enough to be certain what would happen next, but surely this course of action was unwise. DanielJackson's question echoed in Teal'c's mind: "What the hell is wrong with Jack?"

Hammond attempted to cut off O'Neill, but O'Neill simply interrupted him: "Well, with no due respect, General, that's just plain stupid."

How could O'Neill say such things?

"And since the Pentagon won't approve our backup program, we have no choice!" he continued, raising his voice.

Backup program? What was this? Teal'c looked at his teammates, but they seemed ignorant as well.

"Colonel, do not go there," Hammond cautioned.

O'Neill shouted, "We have no choice but to take whatever steps we need to get what we need!"

"As long as I am in command of the SGC, we will hold ourselves to the highest ethical standards." At least GeneralHammond was behaving normally.

"And when the Goa'uld wipe us out because we have nothing with which to defend ourselves, I'm sure we'll all feel great about ourselves and our high moral standards!"

Surely O'Neill had been compromised somehow. Such words might pass his lips in a moment of extreme frustration, but never before his commanding officer.

"Colonel O'Neill, you are out of line!" GeneralHammond admonished. "Now stand down!"

For a moment, Teal'c was uncertain what O'Neill would do, but finally the warrior sat back and closed his mouth. The looks of hurt, even loss, from DanielJackson and MajorCarter's seemed not to affect the colonel at all.

"Colonel O'Neill, I am hereby relieving you of your command. You are to report to the Infirmary and stay there until I send for you."

GeneralHammond too thought O'Neill must have been compromised.

Even then O'Neill did not cease, but sounds from below cut short the verbal battle. The Gate could be heard, and the technician announced an inbound wormhole.

Hammond repeated, "Now get down the Infirmary and submit yourself for a complete examination!"

Everyone stood except DanielJackson.

GeneralHammond ordered Teal'c to bring O'Neill to the infirmary, concluding, "you are no longer under Colonel O'Neill's command. Is that understood?"

Teal'c acknowledged and followed O'Neill. O'Neill stalked silently to the elevator and pushed the call button, but he offered no apology or explanation. Teal'c stood rigidly in silence. He saw O'Neill turn slightly towards him. Teal'c turned fully toward the other man and fixed him with his gaze. O'Neill shifted to face the elevator.

Teal'c wanted to ask a question, but O'Neill's answers so far had been unhelpful. Perhaps some alien entity or substance was involved. It might be best to wait until the doctor had completed her examination. In the meantime, if his silence made O'Neill uncomfortable, all the better.

The elevator arrived, and Teal'c stepped in immediately after O'Neill and pointedly watched the man press the button for the correct floor.

"Oh, come off it!" O'Neill exclaimed. "Don't act so—holier-than-thou. Like you've never…."

Teal'c simply looked at O'Neill, who let the sentence drop.

As the elevator pinged and the doors open, O'Neill shrugged. "Just doing what I should have done long before," he said as he walked through. "Wish I'd gotten something better, though, if there's going to be this much fuss about it."

"O'Neill, your words—and your actions—are unworthy of you!" Teal'c said in spite of himself.

"You'd be surprised," said O'Neill, no trace of humor or apology in his voice.

Teal'c walked at O'Neill's shoulder into the infirmary, where DoctorFrasier was on the telephone, obviously with the general. She frowned at the two of them and hung up.

"Hop up," she said coldly, waving a hand towards an examination table.

The examination proceeded normally. It was far more extensive than DoctorFrasier's initial checks upon the team's return, and indeed more extensive than a normal post-mission physical. Teal'c found some comfort in the procedures. Surely they would find something to explain O'Neill's behavior.

Teal'c remained close to his friend, never moving beyond two meters away except when the doctor or a technician required him to step back for a scan. X-rays, MRI, CT scan. O'Neill complained, but sullenly, not with humor. No one responded, for DoctorFrasier had informed her staff that O'Neill's behavior had been suspicious and they were to treat him with caution. Multiple vials of blood were drawn.

Teal'c kept his gaze fixed on his friend. Partly, he needed to be prepared should the man do something entirely unexpected; until DoctorFrasier verified that O'Neill had not been compromised, the possibility remained that he might harm someone, even himself. Partly, Teal'c wanted to signal him that he should not presume upon their friendship. Whether O'Neill acted of his own volition or not, Teal'c had sworn his loyalty to the Tau'ri and their cause, not to O'Neill personally. If O'Neill had begun to act against the other Tau'ri and against their cause, then Teal'c could no longer take his side.

Again and again, Teal'c replayed the day in his mind—then the previous day, and then the day before that, until he had recalled every moment with O'Neill since he found him safe and sound on Edora a mere two weeks earlier. He could not find any uncharacteristic behavior before this day. Nor did his review illuminate any moments at which O'Neill could have been exposed to any alien influence. Since his return from accidental exile, he had taken some "personal" time, much of which he had spent with his teammates—his friends. Then he had returned to the routine at the SGC. Tollana was their first off-world mission since O'Neill's return. Teal'c could find no opportunity for nor evidence of anything amiss with O'Neill aside from the obvious behavioral aberrations.

Teal'c hoped for a moment of sudden revelation, the discovery of an alien substance or device. Yet he had to admit to himself—and then to DoctorFrasier when she asked—that he could find nothing unusual in O'Neill besides the already noted actions and sour mood. O'Neill glared at medical personnel who dodged his glance and muttered—or sometimes growled—imprecations, which the personnel ignored.

Yet how could O'Neill turn his back on the cause to which he himself had won over Teal'c? Teal'c could not comprehend what could make the man he had now known for almost three years behave in this manner. In Teal'c's experience, the approach of death told one virtually everything one needed to know about a man—or a woman. O'Neill and he had faced death repeatedly, had accepted it more than once and then rejoiced to survive. He knew O'Neill; how could the man be so incomprehensible now?

Perhaps the aberrations were not so aberrant after all? There were things about the Tau'ri Teal'c still had yet to comprehend. Even O'Neill had secrets; he and Teal'c had lived and fought together for weeks before Teal'c even knew O'Neill had once had a son. Much about O'Neill's past remained unknown. Yet Teal'c could not blame him, as he had kept the existence of his own family secret too. And over a lifetime, one experienced much that simply never arose in conversation. Had Teal'c missed some crucial clue about his friend's character?

Teal'c had always believed O'Neill to be an honorable man, committed to the ideals that GeneralHammond had named.

O'Neill had mentioned a backup program that the Pentagon had not approved. Could that be the cause of his behavior? Yet it made little sense for O'Neill to be so upset about something he had never seen fit to mention to Teal'c nor, it seemed, to his teammates. Teal'c would ask the others, but he did not understand how Pentagon refusal of an SGC plan, even one O'Neill had formulated himself, could result in theft. When the Stargate program had been shut down by foolish politicans, O'Neill violated orders—but only to save his planet, on the strength of DanielJackson's word, and with the help of his friends. O'Neill occasionally took his anger out on the wrong person, but to take anger against his own military out on the Tollan, and on his team….

Incomprehensible. That was the word to which Teal'c kept returning. But nothing was incomprehensible forever. The "gods" had their secrets, and those had been revealed. Master Bra'tac's behavior had occasionally seemed bizarre over the years, but Teal'c had learned within the last three what a complex double game his mentor had been playing for decades now. O'Neill must have his reasons!

Finally DoctorFrasier told O'Neill to put his clothes back on. Teal'c frowned even further. If DoctorFrasier had found anything, she would at least keep O'Neill for further testing. What if the tests all proved negative? What if there was nothing wrong with O'Neill?

That was not an option. Clearly something was wrong with O'Neill. But if it was not detectable…. Tealc had known warriors before who had, in O'Neill's words, "lost it." They ceased to be themselves. Usually, however, that followed some significant event—deaths of those close, the loss of rank and honor, or worst, the commission of acts for which they could not forgive themselves. O'Neill had endured most or all of these. But not recently.

"What?" O'Neill smirked at Teal'c as he put his pants back on. "You thought there was something wrong with me?"

Teal'c decided that silence would be the best policy here. O'Neill seemed to want an argument; Teal'c would deny him one. Perhaps that would goad him into saying something meaningful. If he did not, GeneralHammond would have no choice. He could not allow this man to lead SG-1, whatever his past character and deeds.

DoctorFrasier returned with a file and declared that the tests they had completed showed nothing unusual; they awaited more results.

O'Neill said something rude and slid off the exam table to come to a halt in front of Tealc. Teal'c did not move but looked O'Neill full in the face.

"Excuse me," O'Neill had the gall to say, meeting Teal'c's gaze with a glare.

"I am to keep you here until General Hammond is ready for you," Teal'c replied blandly. O'Neill had heard the order as well as he had.

"Get out of my way, Teal'c. That's an order." O'Neill also knew that Teal'c was not to take orders from him anymore.

Yet silence seemed to accomplish nothing. "I do not understand your behavior, O'Neill," Teal'c said with more control than he felt.

Instead of answering, O'Neill growled, "Get out of my way!"

Teal'c maintained a calm silence, or at least the appearance of one. How could he be calm when the man who had convinced him to give up everything he knew, even to walk away from his own family, seemed no longer to be the man he had been that unforgettable day in Apophis's dungeon? And the man he had fought beside for years now? Truly, he felt fury, and only O'Neill's past deeds and the lingering suspicion that there was more to O'Neill's behavior today than met the eye kept him from violence.

The telephone rang. DoctorFrasier acknowledged the call and sent O'Neill and Teal'c back downstairs: the general had summoned them.

Teal'c followed O'Neill in silence, staying two steps back; if he would not answer, it did no good to ask. Inquiry merely allowed O'Neill to become more defensive. For the first time, Teal'c regretted that O'Neill never seemed intimidated by his strength the way many on base did.

O'Neill's movements seemed again studiedly casual. Teal'c allowed him to disembark on the control room level rather than the level above, where GeneralHammond's office was, and he followed O'Neill off the elevator, remaining close. What could he possibly think would come of such behavior? He even greeted MajorCarter, but when she asked if she could do anything for him, he pretended nothing was wrong.

"Well, sir, with respect," she said carefully, "you weren't exactly acting like yourself."

"No, Carter. I haven't been acting like myself since I met you. Now I'm acting like myself."

Teal'c nodded to her but could not stay to offer any comfort to MajorCarter as they continued on their way to GeneralHammond's office, though he had seen the sadness in her eyes and in her posture. He kept his own gaze on O'Neill—not so much waiting for an unexpected move as hoping now for some small clue.

What did his words to MajorCarter mean? Teal'c summoned everything he knew about the SGC before his arrival. He did not know much; he had been a part of the operation almost since GeneralHammond assumed control and had never felt much curiosity about what preceded his involvement. MajorCarter had only met O'Neill shortly before Teal'c did. But DanielJackson had known him on that earlier mission. Perhaps he could shed some light. O'Neill seemed to be going out of his way to be offensive, taking a less direct route in order to—in order to do what? Make more cutting remarks on his way to GeneralHammond's office?

Apparently so, for they encountered Chancellor Travell and DanielJackson leaving the briefing room with another Tollan whose name Teal'c did not know, and O'Neill snapped, "Well, look who's here! Come to retrieve your vastly superior stuff? You know, it would be a lot more superior if it wasn't so easy to steal."

DanielJackson said nothing and continued to walk away.

Hammond barked from his office, "Colonel O'Neill! Get in here and take a seat!"

DanielJackson's silence worried Teal'c's more than Travell's did. Teal'c did not much care what Travell thought, and he had confidence that DanielJackson could "smooth ruffled feathers," as Hammond had said. His words had done much for Teal'c at the Cor-Ai, and indeed he had won over Tollans before: even the reserved Omac seemed to maintain a certain warmth for the young Tau'ri, and DanielJackson had been most effective in Triad.

As Travell departed, Teal'c also had to concede some truth in O'Neill's earlier words: the Tollans had done the Tau'ri little good. They had helped Skaara only because Klorel had crashed his ship on their planet; they had never given anything else of value to the Tau'ri. Yet it would be unwise to make enemies of them.

O'Neill sat in GeneralHammond's office; Teal'c had neither been invited nor forbidden, and when GeneralHammond told him to close the door, he did not say which side Teal'c should be on. Teal'c closed the door behind him as he stepped into the small office.

"By God, Jack, you've really crossed the line here." Hammond's anger was obvious, but his concern was evident as well.

"In terms of my insubordination toward you, you're absolutely right, General," O'Neill said, to Teal'c’s surprise; it seemed out of keeping with his manner moments ago. "And for that, I'm truly sorry." But he continued, "I still think what I did was right."

"I just met with two members of the Tollan High Council who disagree."

Teal'c's respect for GeneralHammond grew at the clear but polite rebuff.

"So the Tollan are dictating our policies now, eh?"

"The victims of a crime are demanding that the perpetrator be dealt with appropriately," Hammond said more mildly than Teal'c would have.

"I'm a criminal?" O'Neill asked.

How could he even ask such a question? He knew the answer.

"What you've done here is clearly a court-martialable offence. I have to press charges," Hammond said, regret tingeing his voice.

"Well…by all means, General, do what you have to do." O'Neill gave up nothing.

"I do have one other option I can offer you, Jack."

Teal'c was a little surprised and felt momentarily hopeful. Was there some ceremony by which O'Neill could restore his honor? Some act of atonement?

But that option turned out to be "early retirement." An odd term, given that O'Neill had retired at least once before.

"All this for one little indiscretion."

Hammond picked up the thick folder on top of his desk and immediately began listing charges. Teal'c recalled them all: most came from their attempts to keep the Stargate open when Kinsey came to close it—and with actions that saved Earth! Those charges were meaningless, surely! "Kidnapping an alien child" had not done any harm in the end and had in fact done good, as Teal'c himself had thought earlier that day.

"The proverbial straw, sir?" O'Neill asked tiredly.

Teal'c was alarmed at this change in tone. He wanted O'Neill to accept responsibility, not to give up the fight! But he could not say anything; the other two men seemed to have forgotten that he was in the room.

"You got it. I'd accept the offer if I were you, Jack. Beats the hell out of the prison time you'd get otherwise." Hammond offered this advice as a friend, not as a superior.

O'Neill did not hesitate long. "Then I guess I'm retired."

Teal'c stood there in shock for a moment after O'Neill left Hammond's office. Then he started after O'Neill, to tell him how he had dishonored himself, to ask him how he could abandon the fight, to force the man to answer—but the general called him back.

"Let him go, Teal'c. It's over."

Teal'c stopped. "GeneralHammond, DoctorFrasier has not yet completed all her tests. Perhaps she will find something wrong with Colonel O'Neill." He permitted himself the luxury of retaining that hope. "We cannot allow…."

Hammond shook his head sadly. "I hate to say it, son, but I really don't think she's going to find anything. Sometimes…it all just gets to be too much for some people."

"But GeneralHammond—"

"Teal'c." GeneralHammond looked at Teal'c with a compassion that Teal'c did not care to see in his eyes. He appreciated what Hammond meant, but that look meant something terrible. The last time he had seen that look, they had left O'Neill stranded on a planet suffering catastrophic meteor showers. The time before…. The time before, Teal'c had carried the body of DanielJackson's wife through the Gate as O'Neill and MajorCarter carried their unconscious teammate through on a stretcher.

"Teal'c, I think…I think Colonel O'Neill has just…well, like I said, had too much." GeneralHammond chose his words carefully, yet still they did not come smoothly. "He has put up a hell of a fight. He has…he has lost some good friends. He has been…unable to keep a promise to a friend." His promise to DanielJackson that they would rescue his wife. Teal'c dropped his eyes. He could not look at the general.

"That was not O'Neill's failure, GeneralHammond. That was my own," Teal'c said softly. He did not have voice enough to speak any louder on this point.

"That's not the point," the general said hurriedly. "It's just…he's tired. Damn tired. He's been fighting for years and years, with…rules and limits that the enemy don't have. And that's the way of war, very often. We have to do what's right, even when they don't. But that just…got to be too much, I guess."

Teal'c raised his eyes again to find that same look of compassion and sadness still on Hammond's face.

"Let him go, Teal'c," the general repeated. "There's nothing you can do. He has to retire. You can't talk him into coming back, because he can't come back to the SGC; to return to service would mean to face prosecution for his actions today."

"But Colonel O'Neill has saved Earth. He has risked death—even suffered death—for the people of this command and this planet. He has risked his life for others on other worlds."

"And that, Teal'c, is why I could offer him retirement," the general said with a small smile that held no hope. "Most officers would never have had that option; they would be spending a number of years in prison instead."

Teal'c's shoulders slumped a little before he could control himself. He could accomplish nothing here. In fact, he could accomplish nothing at all for O'Neill. O'Neill had already made his choices.

"Thank you, GeneralHammond." Teal'c bowed to the man. "I offer my gratitude for what you have done for Colonel O'Neill, and all you do for SG-1." He left the office.

Perhaps he could do nothing more for O'Neill; at the moment, he did not even wish to do anything for O'Neill. But he knew from experience that his feelings on the matter would change.

Yet Teal'c had things he had to do for himself. O'Neill's behavior that day had shaken him. If it were not O'Neill, anger would be a sufficient response. But it was O'Neill.

He had to grapple with what O'Neill had done, how the man who convinced him to leave Apophis's service—to rebel openly and free people he had never seen before that day—could abandon the fight against the Goa'uld, a fight not only to preserve the people of O'Neill's own planet, but peoples throughout the galaxy—including the Jaffa.

Teal'c had thought O'Neill could help lead the victory that would free the Jaffa. Now it appeared he had been mistaken. He must at least understand how and why. He must know what had afflicted O'Neill's soul so badly that he could abandon the fight when he was not even half Teal'c's age, and how he could have so misjudged his friend and fellow warrior.

And he did not entirely believe GeneralHammond, though he knew the man to be honorable. The Tau'ri lived short lives; they tended to be short-sighted. Perhaps O'Neill could yet serve in some capacity. Teal'c could not believe that the fight was over for his comrade-in-arms.

Teal'c knew that he would find both the others in DanielJackson's office, and he was not disappointed. He managed, on the walk there, to push away his anger for a time. He was, however, surprised to find them sitting in silence, one on each side of the desk, just looking at each other.

"Teal'c!" DanielJackson greeted him warmly but then fell silent and looked away, apparently finding nothing else to say.

"The general called," MajorCarter explained. "He told us…what happened."

Teal'c realized that DanielJackson was not really looking at the major; he was glaring at the phone.

"He only told us over the phone because he realized you'd come right down and tell us, Teal'c," MajorCarter explained further. "I'm sure otherwise…."

"You'd think Jack could manage to come down and tell us," the archaeologist spat out. "Or at least call!"

SamanthaCarter had no answer for that.

"How did he seem, Teal'c?" she asked him, and suddenly Daniel's eyes were on him as well.

Teal'c hesitated before he answered. "Resigned," he said quietly.

"Yes, we know he—oh," DanielJackson interrupted him impatiently but then realized what Teal'c was saying. His eyes opened wider. "So he just accepted it?"

"He had no other choice, Daniel," MajorCarter said, hunching her shoulders a little. "He…it's…it's over."

"It's not over," Daniel yelled. "We've still got Goa'uld—I think Jack kind of noticed that." He had a pen in his hand, and he stabbed a pile of papers with it. "How could he just—what the hell was he thinking, anyway? Did he think the general would still be saying, 'Great job!' when he found out how Jack got the device?"

"I don't know what he was thinking, Daniel!" MajorCarter's voice was strained, and her irritation seemed partly directed at the archaeologist. Teal'c wondered how long they had been discussing the matter. "Maybe he did think the general would just let us study it and return it." She folded her arms and leaned forward with her elbows on the desk. "I don't know."

DanielJackson slammed his hand down on the papers, shaking the whole desk; MajorCarter pulled back from it abruptly with a glare. "Sorry, I—Teal'c, you were with him the whole time since…since the debriefing, right? Did he say anything?"

"Nothing of import," Teal'c said, torn between sorrow and anger at O'Neill.

"Maybe it didn't seem like it was important…." Daniel looked appealingly at Teal'c, ignoring a look from SamanthaCarter.

"O'Neill complained about the length of the tests and their number. He complained about having to undress. He complained about cold equipment and bright lights. He avoided actual conversation. He refused to answer any questions about his behavior. He mocked any idea that he may have been compromised." Teal'c listed everything. "This was not O'Neill's first offense against your military's code."

"Not my military," DanielJackson murmured predictably. MajorCarter rolled her eyes.

"It was, as he said, 'the last straw.' Perhaps if he had had no previous offenses…." he let the others complete the thought.

"But—but it's not like Jack!" DanielJackson looked like he might hit the desk again, but MajorCarter gave him a warning look even as she leaned back in the chair, and he pushed away from the desk to stand up instead. "Jack does dumb things, but…well, mostly he says dumb things. This…came out of nowhere. And, damn it, if he wanted to risk his career for this, why not get something…bigger?"

The question hung there until finally SamanthaCarter tried to answer. "He needed something he could take quickly and fit through the Gate."

"But he didn't need to take anything!" Daniel said in exasperation. "And it got us exactly nothing! We got no benefit! Sam, do you think you could even have figured it out? And how much difference would it make…?"

On the spot, MajorCarter froze. Finally, she shook her head. "I think Tollan technology is too far ahead of me; I'd probably need someone to explain it to me. Otherwise, it would take at least weeks, maybe months or years."

"And what good would one do?"

"We'd have to funnel everyone past it; we'd have to redesign…." MajorCarter trailed off as she saw her companion shaking his head. She added, "And it would only help if they came through the Gate anyway. The iris is better protection; I'd have told the Colonel that, if only he'd asked."

The two had no doubt covered this territory before, for they both looked at Teal'c now. MajorCarter asked, "Did he say anything to you? Did you have any idea…?"

"He said nothing to me before or after the…theft." The last word was distasteful, but was the deed.

"There must be something," MajorCarter insisted. "If we could find something, anything…. Well, let's think about it." Samantha began carefully pushing aside the papers on DanielJackson's desk, looking for something.

The archaeologist threw himself back into his chair, pulled out a piece of paper with a few words, frowned at it, and crossed the words out before handing her the paper and pencil while Teal'c was still trying to figure out what she was doing.

"Let's list the possibilities." MajorCarter started writing. "1. Alien influence. Okay, if that's the case, what are we talking about?"

"It doesn't seem very purposeful," DanielJackson said slowly. "I mean, if someone—or something—were controlling him, we'd expect them to be either more subtle, or more forceful. If they want Jack off the team, or want to harm the Earth-Tollana alliance, that's an odd way to go about it."

"But a sufficient one," Teal'c pointed out, pleased that they were doing something useful. Or potentially useful.

“True," DanielJackson said. He looked up at Teal'c as if he was just noticing him. "Want to pull up a chair?" The archaeologist jumped up again and looked around. There was a couch strewn with books, and another chair was awaiting repair in the corner.

Teal'c assured them that he did not need to sit.

After a moment, MajorCarter continued. "Okay. So I have 1. Alien influence. Purpose: A. to have Colonel O'Neill removed from the team, or B. to disrupt our alliance with the Tollans. 'B' has no…actual benefits to anyone. It doesn't really harm us…."

And so the discussion went. DanielJackson pointed out that disrupting the alliance would have little real impact, and if that was the goal, it had failed anyway. But they all knew that if someone wanted O'Neill off the team, there were, as Teal'c noted, "more effective ways of being certain."

"No, I don't think it's alien control," DanielJackson said. "I can't see how aliens would get anything out of this. Even the things Urgo made us do made more sense than this." He paused. "So we're losing Jack over nothing."

"Possibility 2," MajorCarter said. "Non-purposeful alien influence."

DanielJackson nodded. "Something that would affect his behavior, maybe his mood. Could it have been something on Edora? Some virus? Or even something in the food supply? Ergot can cause hallucinations: some think it may have been responsible for the Salem Witch hysteria."

MajorCarter, however, noted that he had showed no signs of trouble on Edora or in the days since his return. Teal'c watched his friends bounce ideas back and forth. As O'Neill would say, this never got old. Yet O'Neill would not be around to say that from now on; apparently it had gotten old, or it did not matter enough for him to restrain himself.

After some discussion, possibility 2 was put aside until DoctorFrasier found evidence. Teal'c truly wished he could ascribe O'Neill's actions to outside causes, as he had suggested to GeneralHammond, but increasingly he feared that he could not.

MajorCarter finally asked, "Teal'c, did Colonel O'Neill say anything more about this 'backup plan' that the Pentagon turned down? Did General Hammond?"

Teal'c had to respond in the negative.

"Since when does getting one of our plans turned down constitute a reason for throwing everything away?" DanielJackson swung his arms. "It doesn't even constitute a reason for giving up on a plan! We usually come out okay, in the end."

MajorCarter gaped. That "in the end" covered a whole lot—including some of the insubordination and disobeying orders that already littered O'Neill's file, and one of DanielJackson's near-death experiences.

Teal'c found himself breaking the silence. "Perhaps that plan was, as O'Neill would say, 'the proverbial straw'."

"He did…start a new life on Edora," MajorCarter recalled.

Her teammate frowned at her. "But he was really glad to come back! I mean, wasn't he?" He chewed on his lip as they all remembered finding O'Neill not quite as glad to see them as they expected.

"He did get close to…."

"Laira," DanielJackson supplied. "But we're going back there. To check on them." He was still frowning.

Teal'c remembered vividly the welcome sight of O'Neill's face when he emerged into the sunlight on Edora. He was not the only one thrilled to see a friend; O'Neill had been joyous. He had said his goodbyes to Laira faster than he had to a couple of the children on the planet, and Teal'c did not remember a personal pledge to Laira. He had heard O'Neill speak of a treaty to be negotiated, nothing more, and O'Neill had in fact led the team that went through to help the Edorans shortly after his return.

MajorCarter wrinkled her nose. "He wouldn't give all this up for…."

"No, I don't think he'd do it consciously. But he really didn't think he'd see us again, apparently. If he thought he was stuck there, and he started making a life for himself"—he gestured around his crowded office—"it might be a bit of a shock to come back here."

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